Pixiq

Being Being a professional photographer isn’t easy. 

Living with one is far more difficult. 

As Mother’s Day approaches I think it’s important to take a look at the people behind the scenes- The wives and mothers that put up with professional photographers.  Namely, my wife.

Even though I began my photography journey almost twenty years ago when I got my degree in the subject, it wasn’t until about five years ago that I finally decided to ‘go for it’ and put my whole self into becoming successful at what was previously more of a hobby.  When I made this decision, I don’t think my wife anticipated where that road was heading.

In the beginning it was an occassional hike on the weekends.   I would wake long before the rest of the family and drive out to my location.  There would be a small hike and some photos taken, and then I would be back at home early enough that in most cases my wife was still asleep.   During this period I was relearning what brought me to photography in the first place.   I had rediscovered why I fell in love with photography.   I felt the need and desire to be creative that I had had during college before life and severe laziness caught up with me.

My trips out went from once a week to two sometimes three in a week.  Still never gone more than a couple hours, I was driven to learn and to continue to perfect my craft, making up for those down years where the camera set on a shelf for all but a few times a year.

My wife put up with hikes, and the little times away. To her, it was a good hobby (at this point), and a healthy way for me to get out and exercise.  This process usually allowed the kids to come as well…so it was also considered family time. 

Then I needed a new camera.   When I set out to be good at something, I don’t quit.  It wasn’t long before my knowledge and aspirations outgrew the entry level DSLR I had purchased just six months before.  I needed a bigger more professional model camera that was capable of taking my photography to the level I envisioned in my head.     This required a good chunk of financial money.  My wife handled it beautifully, and with minimal grumbles we spent the money and I bought my new camera set up....and all the subsequent gear that I found I "needed" after the new camera.

With the new camera came an even bigger drive to learn and grow as a photographer.  The morning and evening trips became full day events that saw me leave from before the sun rose, and return well after it had gone down.    This eventually led to a full on road trip taking off for 10 days through the southwest.   The goal of this trip was to continue to push my comfort zone, as well as add new images to my growing portfolio.  My wife "got it" and let me take the time away to photograph.

While away I pushed myself to become better, learn more, and get better in every aspect of my craft.   The trip was a success for numerous reasons.   I came away with several new images for my portfolio.  I pushed myself mentally and physically to become better at what I did.  I saw beautiful areas of the country I hadn’t even considered visiting before.  It was a great experience all around, but what really set this trip apart was a being in the right place at the right time. 

Through this trip I ended up meeting Stephen Oachs.   Stephen, like me was getting into landscape and wildlife photography pretty seriously.  Through a chance run in at Horseshoe Bend in Page, Arizona we started exchanging emails and going out to shoot together.   This of course, required more time away from my wife and family.    What my wife didn’t know at the time is that the chance meeting with Stephen and the shoots that followed all laid the ground work for what has now become The Aperture Academy.

Stephen and I began by teaching a few workshops a year.  There was a demand, and it made sense to teach some of what I’d learned throughout my then fifteen years of photography.  We taught four or five workshops that first year.  The workshops required me being out of town for two or three days at a time.   When I’m away all the parenting falls on my wife.  She’s in charge of getting the kids fed and taken care of.   With our boys this means sports practices or games (sometimes 2 a day), birthday parties, family functions, errands, or just a trip to the lake to get out of the house. It’s a hard enough gig to tackle as a team, but alone it can get overwhelming very quickly.  Add to it that our boys are three years apart in age, and both the same size and you can't imagine the squabbling and fighting that occurs.

The workshop schedule expanded some the second year.  We went from four or five to nine.   This was in addition to the various other side trips I made for personal shooting.  Building a business isn’t easy, and often times the days I am home I’m spent at the computer processing images, writing articles, or setting to the various social networking aspect of my business.   When I’m home, I’m not technically home.

In 2009 The Aperture Academy was opened and business increased dramatically.  The nine workshops we were doing each year multiplied and between the workshops and other events at the gallery I spent at least fifteen different weekends away.    This was also the time I got the wild idea of going to Iceland for an entire summer. 

“How does your wife put up with you?”  I get asked that question ALL of the time.  The honest answer is I have no idea.   I’m probably not the easiest person on the planet to live with when I am home.  I work in public education Monday-Friday.  Then I leave for a weekend or two each month to work more.  Then in the summer, which is normally a time reserved for family I get the genius idea to spend it all in a foreign country- Which my wife allowed me to do.    This took a herculean effort on her part to keep the house and kids in check for that time.  We also have three dogs…that adds three more children to the mix.  While in Iceland my wife made a lifesized photo-cut out me and drug it to family dinners, sporting events, and even our anniversary.  I know nobody else who could handle this with a sense of humor.  Cardboard me was probably less of a pain in the ass in some regards. 

This year the Aperture Academy has grown by leaps and bounds.  Stephen’s wife has coined the phrase “photography widow” to describe the situation she and my wife face.  There are months where I am gone every single weekend to help teach and grow the business.   Then I still need time to shoot personal projects in order to continue my own creative growth.   I figure this year I’ll miss 30 weekends teaching.   When you’re business is growing and you feel personal responsibility to see it succeed there is always something that can be done, always another day you can work.  I'm a work-a-holic when it comes to my photography.

There are times when I’m able to bring the family on a workshop, and treat them to a bit of a vacation from their normal life at home.  Those times aren’t as often as I’d like at this point and there’s never a really good way to tell them how much I appreciate the hard work and effort they put into being related to me.  Riding side-saddle with me on a photo shoot is probably nobodies idea of fun.  I took them to Florida on a cruise ship for 5 days.  The family time and relaxation was really the first break any of us had in almost two years.  It was amazing, yet I still managed to throw in some photography as well.  They endured the evening drives all ove the Florida Keys as part of "vacation".  It’s really incredible that they put up with me given that I’m working two full time jobs right now.    I’m honestly always a little surprised their home when I return from being away.

“Wow…they’re still here.”

It’s hard enough to build a portfolio and work to improve one’s craft given the competiveness and conditions that exist in photography today.  It’s even harder when you have a family.    Everything I am in photography is because of my family.  If it weren’t for them I would have no reason to push to be great.  If it weren’t for my wife’s unwavering love, support, and patience I wouldn’t be able to do what I do and continue to move forward.   It’s definitely a team effort in the Rueb house.  

I guess what I’m trying to say is that when you see the pretty images in magazines, and on the websites, and you take the class or workshop from the professional.  You should know that behind every good photographer is an even better woman...and a couple kids throwing rocks in your foreground.

Happy Mother’s Day to my wife and the other photography widows of the world.