Pixiq

All names in this post are fictional.  Most of the incidents are from several different sets of transactions.  In short, this is more fiction than fact, and any resemblance to actual persons is accidental, though as we all know, accidents will happen.  Please see: Photographers 700 v. G&M Washington for further information.

Signed,

Dave Beckerman

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Most of my web photo sales, whether for a large number of prints or just one 5 x 7 inch print are straightforward.  The customer adds items to the cart; pays for them; gets them; and usually that’s that unless they write a note to thank me for the pictures, or a print gets run over by a Fedex truck (don't laugh, that happened once and I have a jpg of tire-tracks on the manila envelope to prove it).

The next level, may involve say 6 emails back and forth:  how soon can they get it since they need the print for a special occasion;  is it possible to get a discount because they are poor students, or just poor (uhm, artists I'm not exactly wealthy); or how much will insurance be to ship prints to Afghanistan (no, not to an FPO but to a small border village). 

These are normal inquiries and they almost always end up with a completed sale (though I don't ship to Afghanistan unless it's a military base).

Third level: can I take an 8 x 12 inch print, and do it as an 8 x 10.  Will the print look different?

I don't know how many times I've had to describe that when you cut pieces off the sides, you are going to lose something.  That's just a law of physics, though what law, I couldn't say.

Whether that picture crop (yes, that is what it's called) turns out to be important or not is a matter of judgement.  Please, print it out at home and see what happens if you remove the sides.  Sometimes, as in this case, I will send a cropped jpg through email so that the potential customer can see what the final print would look like.

In this particular case, G. & M. Washington (the potential customers) want to have a 16 x 24 inch print blown up to a 5 by 10 foot print.  I should have called it quits at that point, but I let it go on... and on... and on...

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Forty-two replies later, over a period of close 6 weeks, I had sent a small blow-up showing what the grain would look like at that large size (on a small print) and what the print would look like in terms of paper (I sent an 8 x 12) and it was just one thing after another.

So there you have it.  The 2010 winner of toughest transaction goes to George and Martha Washington of Fare-thee-well Wyoming.  It never did pan out since I began to think they had nothing better to do than torture me, and I stopped answering their emails.  But in case you're curious, here's how it all began:

“Dear Dave,

I would just like to tell you how much I have enjoyed your photography.  My husband and I have found one of your pictures (xxxxxxx) that we just love.  We would like to know whether it is possible to print this at a larger size than what you show on your site.” (The largest size I show is 16 x 24 inches, and it's from a 35mm negative.

And that was the beginning of a thread that eventually reached 42 emails (that includes my replies and their emails) and that went on for a period of four months.

During this process, I sent out several samples, showing what the print would look like blown up (yes, 35mm film will be grainy when you get up to 6 feet long) and a sample showing what the paper was like.

For every response, on my part, there was a reply asking another question.  Eventually, I began to believe that the couple from Wyoming were simply bored, and out to torment me.

The process devolved when I pointed out that I would have to send the print rolled in a big tube, because it couldn’t be shipped flat.  They wanted to know the diameter of the tube; (7 inches) how long it would take to flatten out; and whether this wouldn’t ruin the print.

I didn’t answer this e-mail.  I didn't answer anymore of their emails.  Yes, it's true, George and Martha - you wrote back and tried to keep me on the rack; but I know how many turns of the screw it takes before I can't take it any longer.  When I begin to write you up in my blog, that's pretty much means that I've had as much back-and-forth as I can take.

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But that's not the end of the story.  I published this in my old blog (I won't say when or what year) and I got the following email from Tom W.:

Dear Dave,

I wanted to inform you that George and Martha (George is my bros.) had a bad experience with their wedding photographer (they were just married) and have been emailing over a hundred photographers pretending to be interested in making a purchase and never buying any. 

I don't know if they've pulled this on you, but you should know that they have been taken to court by one photographer, and that this looks like it will be a class-action before it's over.  I will keep you abreast of the trial.

Yours with sincere apologies,

Tom W.